Same, same, but different.

by Corinna Robertz (Germany)

I didn't expect to find India

However far one goes, one stays the same. Within own skin, unable to escape mind and thought. Whereever I go, I follow myself, all good and bad as part of the the bags. Flowers have been hung around my neck in Indian religious ceremones, children's hands reaching up to me offering candy from sticky hands, dancing singing, always twirling in a sea of cultural foreignness. I was in New Delhi by myself - alone but not lonely - strolling the streets aimlessly, as in a bubble, seperated from the sea of people by codes and language and tradition. Foreign colours followed foreign smells; I often felt dizzy at night. I called no one. I indulged in lonelyness in a country of so many. In China, I opened the door to a world I did not know would exist. A disc expanded into a shining ball of mystery, me in the middle, the courageous discoverer facing all political hurdles. I did not expect to set foot here, I was astonished and impressed of who I had become. I sent a picture to my mother, a quite scream. Look who I have become. Mexican families are warm and welcomeing, sharing hugs, kisses, dances, food, drinks, joy of life all night. Colour, colour, colour let me forget cold and grey Germany. That is, until you find yourself a family. My natal one in the west, my choosen one in the east. Harsh and distant and forever loving. Today, I drive through outback Australia. Fear and hot air makes it hard to breathe. No house for hours - alone and lonely - red dust is all that surrounds me now. When the dust descends, I make out the outlines of another car, driving behind me, at steady speed. My parents escaped the grey and cold, to join me in my choosen life. Nothing has changed, and everything is different. I did not expect to find peace in staying the same. Within my skin, my thoughts, always me. I'll go to New Delhi again, courageous discoverer, accept dizzyness this time and call my mom.