Scared

by Sindiswa Mthembu (South Africa)

A leap into the unknown South Africa

I'm scared when those old fears run through my head ,when i hear the taunting laughter of years past, when i was a little Kid and all those punchline teenage jokes .I know i'm scared when all those memories cut loose their chain and invade my confidence, eroding the Person i have built since those dark days .The fear comes most when i'm tired and flees in the nighttimes, vanishes by the time i'm awake. So when my thought tumble into the abyss and the rope ladder burn , i put down my phone and leave everything im doing too ,and Curl up where it warm and dark. For my dreams are my helicopter ,my dream self is the Pilot and she's waiting to take me out of here the moment i let it all go. Everytime i feel like hitting my head against the wall cause i could not cope nor handle my fears .When i'm alone i'm seeing shadows everywhere and hear voice talking to me, in blink of an eye everything is alright . These fears has crushed my confidence like it was nothing ,the dreams i had ,the way i lived my life since i overcome all those fears since childhood it just made my world come down to dust . I can't think of anything other than running away from these strange thought and feelings that are running through my head. I'm scared to think about the future that seems to have tumbled down to my feet,