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Gleaming, shine, and raising to be a better human is what I hope would happen. That day changes me. Changes my viewing point on how life is not just cupcakes and rainbow. I was so Naive. Believing everything I could dream of could also alive at some point in my life. Everything was such a colourful world that built-in around me. Got me comfort that makes me think I was doing the best. I was fooling my own mind. I'm not going anywhere besides dancing in my own bubbles. It is my birthday, my seventeen birthday to be exact. Flying memories from two months before. This ego, emotion, and a very distinctive feeling of betrayed. When I found out, I could not continue to do as much as I wanted. To be free and independent. To be totally right to feel happy. I have betrayed myself when I could not choose the best choice. I have decided to move out, from the world I have chosen to be my heaven. Moved out was never an easy way to pull off for a lot of people and neither do I. Sobbing and crawling under my cold blanket in the middle of the night is what I do for the rest week after I moved. I lost all of my hopes and dreams. Losing interest and every day feels like I am walking in the land of hell. I said to myself, "Just Breathe and you will be fine," but never was part of me agreeing that nonsense. I felt like the more I go, the more I lost and when the day comes I felt completely defeated. The day when my seventeen birthday comes. I lose my self to the fact that I do not even know what is real, and after all these years I do not know who I was. I spend my day to reflect on things I should plant to back up my personality, finding the real me, and turn this hell I step on into the world that at least give me the basic on what should I know of how not capable I am at certain things. Time has passed. Later on, I finally could see a little bit of light. it is not the same light I saw in my heaven, but it is the light I saw from my self.