Solo Travelling Got Rid of My Imposter Syndrome

by Tamanisha John (United States of America)

A leap into the unknown Curacao

Last year, I was in bed feeling depressed and frustrated with my lack of productivity and progress in writing my dissertation. ‘Why am I here?’ I thought, going through the normal bouts of imposter syndrome that sometimes visits me in my darkest moments. It was at that point, during a restless 2am, that I decided to book my first ever solo trip to Curaçao, one week before the plane would take off. Crazy? Probably, but it was also exhilarating. I was, about to visit a country where I knew absolutely no one and knew little about— outside of the colorful vibrant photos I saw that night online. I went to Curaçao for 5 days and 4 nights during the week of March 11-15, 2019. While in the airport, I told myself that this trip would serve two purposes: (1) it would rejuvenate me and restore confidence in my work, and (2) it would get me out of my comfort zone. I wanted to challenge myself to be as adventurous as I wanted to be while alone… and with a fractured pinky toe. Today I am proud to say that I did all of those things and more! During my first full day in Curaçao, I woke up at 5am, drank some coffee, and hopped into my rental car to catch the early morning sunrise atop Santa Martha Cliff. After missing the sunrise by a literally three minutes, I drove on down to the capital of Willemstad for groceries and sight-seeing. In Willemstad, I took a million photographs of the gorgeous city waterfront that features the colorful buildings and Dutch architecture—a vestige of Curaçao’s colonial period—that I saw online. While breathtakingly beautiful, the capital was much more than pretty buildings and architecture. In Willemstad the walls and buildings expressed Curaçoan artists visions of blackness, childhood, and nature. The art scene on the island was visually and stylistically incredible. The entire island seemed to share with its visitors its rich history, and tradition, through art. Something that impressed me the most, were the souvenir “Chichi” dolls (black and faceless dolls with colorfully painted clothing) whose proceeds went towards helping single mothers on the island. In Sint Willibrordus, at the Landhuis Jan Kok Art Gallery, local artists displayed artwork in a beautiful white house— which I later learned, was once the premises of the cruelest slave master in Curaçao. Across from the gallery, flamingos roamed in the natural habitat. The remainder of my trip was spent in Westpunt. Westpunt is known for its scuba diving and natural protected sites; A nod to my yearning for adventure. In Westpunt, I visited as many natural sites as I could. Shete Boka Park shared with me some of the roughest ocean waves I’ve ever seen. It made me appreciate how blue and majestic the ocean was—even when its angry. At Watamula Hole, ocean water shot straight up through the holes in the rocks. The sound, that of a canon firing. The adrenalin seeping off of the ocean visuals were intense, especially with the knowledge that if you tried to swim in these waters, you would be crushed by the rocks—if not, by the strength of the ocean. I solo hiked the whole 1,230 feet of Mount Christoffelberg—yes, with a fractured pinky toe! The view at the top so beautiful, that the torturous hike up was instantly erased from my mind. The sweat and tears, worth it. As a then 25-year-old young Black woman, I was able to conquer my fear of solo travel in Curaçao. I read poems on Playa Piskado. I chilled out by the pool of my bnb nightly, writing, as my writer’s block evaporated. I regained my confidence in my work, and in myself. Fears of being alone throughout my trip were instantly gone during the first day. In Curaçao, I met so many people passionate about sharing their culture, history, city, art, and environment with me—that I felt comfortable alone. It was a community that made me realize solo travel can be fun and rewarding. It definitely helped that everyone I met spoke a minimum of 2-3 languages, and appreciated that I was exploring their community.