Sometimes our paths meet for a reason

by Eunice Tossy (Tanzania)

A leap into the unknown Tanzania

There are times when you feel hopeless for everything that is going on in your life. And then there are times when you receive a call that is life changing, and you start to be hopeful again. In December 2019, i completed my time of working with an organization in Mwanza, Tanzania. So i went back to a place where i call home, Dar, Tanzania. My plan was to spend Christmas with family then figure life out in January, by that i mean get another job. And so January came, and i didn't figure life out. In fact my heart was stuck, empty, anxious, filled with anger and i felt lost. Not at home in my own home. I didn't have joy. Deep inside i thought getting another job would fill me, will just take the feelings away. The first week of January i received a call from my mentor. She told me to go to Dodoma, the capital city of Tanzania, there she believes i will get a job as a school teacher or an administrative assistant in a school where her son goes. Infact she said, 'get on a bus tomorrow, the interview is on Thursday'. She called me on Tuesday. I was so excited...to experience life in a new town. I was unsure about the job. But still i spent the night packing. Excited for what will unfold. I started 2020 so good, travelling and getting good news, even the ones i was unsure of. On Wednesday i was on my way to Dodoma. Got welcomed to the city with beautiful showers. I was excited to explore and live in the capital city. But also anxious for the interview the next day. I sometimes believe that the rain is a sign for good things, the rainbow, sunrise and sunset as well. I somehow accompany these with good luck. So deep inside i felt like those showers were welcoming me to a new life in Dodoma. The next day, i woke up with the knowledge that i slept where the parliament is. Woke up filled with so much gratitude and waiting for the interview. Only to receive a call that there won't be any. The interviewer, the owner of the school had travelled to Dar, to work on things. My life was to be lived in waiting. I must admit that i was terrible the first week after getting the news. I struggled with questions like, 'why am i here then?' I cried. Wanted to go back home. I was moody and full of doubts. Not having a direction. Not knowing what to do. Facing the unexpected But i talked to myself..that i didn't expect to be in the new city either, so i might as well use the time to work on myself, enjoy life one day at a time. And i did. Went to famous places and in the evening spent time at a train railway thinking and working on myself. Watched the sunrise and sunset, and it was so soothing. Felt cold, ate, cried. Felt the feelings in the comfort of the new city. I grew up seeing the parliament on tv, but in Dodoma, everytime i was going to town i saw it. It was magical. The woman took longer than expected but when she came back she said i couldn't get the job, they wanted a teacher and i am not. So i had to go back home, one month later. Maybe i wasn't waiting for her, life was giving me a time for me. But its amazing how our paths collided for each other's wellbeing. In the waiting i found more I think i was there for healing, that opportunity was just there to push me to travel. I haven't looked back at the experience and regreted that she wasted my time, or money or energy, more than anything i am full of good memories of the way i spent my days. Dodoma was somewhere i could work on myself at, somewhere i could heal, somewhere i could spend evenings at the railway and watch the sunset. I am grateful that she pushed me to take the leap into the unknown.