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When my dad died two years ago I lost everything. My dad, who was a dear friend, our family farm, and my trust in people while I was the executor of my father's estate. A year later I started graduate school for criminology and criminal justice while working in the school's community responsibility office. I had a department head and adviser tried to silence me when my professors weren't showing up or teaching or making rape jokes. I had a dean tell me I could be retaliated against. When I took them to court over the summer, they sent the provost to intimidate me. All because I wanted them to do the right things by the students who were paying money to be educated. The judge ruled in my favor within fifteen minutes. I realized on the first day of my last year of graduate school fully paid for, that I couldn't finish. That my integrity was worth more. I also realized I had lost myself and I was exhausted on every level and couldn't go on. I also couldn't ignore that my heart just didn't live in this reality anymore and it didn't feel authentic. I put my house on the market and in sold in 8 days. I left everything I have known for the last 29 years for 4 months to figure out who this me is. I moved in the direction the Universe told me to go: West. I stayed in the healing red rocks of Sedona and learned even through fatigue I could do hard things. I started getting sicker as I moved on to visit friends in California and learned that friendship is the most valuable things in the world when you have nothing to give. Maui and the ocean healed my soul and quieted my mind as my body started pulsing with scary, chronic pain. As I crawled to the mountains of Idaho, I fell into the hands of a homeopathic doctor who is on a mission to figure out what is shutting me down. I cancelled trips to Oregon and Washington to stay here. I had to take my dreams of Alaska and Oahu off the table. I had to fight tooth and nail, but I made it to exactly where I am suppose to be. I had no idea a soul searching trip was going to turn into a health searching trip. I had no idea that that if I listened to the Universe, that it would put me exactly where I needed to be at just the right time. I had no idea that when I told myself I was going to write a story about the heart that it was going to be about more than my dad's heart attack. Life is a wild ride and I had been on the loop-di-loop for a long time, striving for the forty hour a week, 4013B, employer match, golden handcuff, sick leave for 30 years life. And I was dying. It was killing me and I didn't know until Life held a mirror up to my life and then shattered it on the floor, taking everything away. I am homeless. I am ungrounded. I lost my dad. My job. My childhood home. and my health. this travel story is still about the heart though. Mine. Its still beating.