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Why chase the next moment when your not their. If you spend all your time travelling to the next moment. Your never anywhere. Your just travelling. I smile at people because it breaks a barrier placed into an abis that Disney excist. A plane created to guide me away from a fear of complete acceptance of my insignificance I want to smile at them because I care. And I think in realising why I smile at them now I can start to care and we can escape insignificance together I did things a certain way so I could be recognised for what I was doing. How I looked. How I acted. How I was perceived. So I could have it commented upon. And now I’m denying that any of that mattered or mattered or that anything matters. But I’m only doing that for the same validation form a smaller source I speak to people to maintain a connection incase I need them for something selfish not because I’m interested. But I’m feeling now that I want to be Interested. I don’t know if right now I can say I am. Because I haven’t really asked. Or at least I haven’t really been listening. Even now I think maybe. Probably. I’m writing this for you. Whoever you are. So that maybe you can comment on my perspective and validate my views as special. Very conflicting to hold onto a reality and it’s values you’ve given and accepted from it. Perspectives and feelings of your current situation and grasp upon reality. I feel, are built up like a layered Totum. Each block is different and a new segment of time is always being placed on top of it. All of them are transparent or translucent. Some more than others. You need to be able to see last down to where you came from to help understand where you are now. But you can’t ever completely cover up and forget the blocks beneath you. No matter how high you climb There are some ways it is impossible to connect. It’s ok not to be able to empathise. No ones asking you too. And some things just can’t be done. You don’t know if you can empathise. Even if your level of empathy has been validated on multiple occasions. You can’t know what’s on another’s head. I guess that why you need to be truly interested. Perhaps not need. Perhaps it would just be nice. Perhaps everything might be a bit nicer. The world around me is beautiful. And I don’t have enough time to consume it. But I feel compelled to make myself beautiful to the eyes of another in the mind of myself and place that self image into their lives to feel... I don’t know what really. This next bit is a train of thought from the last few weeks. But I’ll stick it into this segment of thinking as it fits nicely. I’m writhing this for some one now. humans and bacteria are the same. Besides the complexity of the civilisation. To something larger we are just the mould on the planet that should be wiped off with a bit of MR muscle kitchen spray but what’s the point of a clean kitchen if there’s no one their to eat it. Language has to many rules to communicate effectively things I can’t comprehend. Emotions are understood through language. Therefore they have rules. But there’s emotion beyond what is taught by these rules, just like how solids liquids and gasses help is comprehend what we are experiencing in this plain around us. But beyond these state of matter lyes plasma and thousands more that most people don’t have the language connected to their understanding and are left in a darkness about their reality Just a question. Why dose it matter to you - That you live a long life ?