Bali is renowned for its amazing surf, perfect sunsets, beautiful locals, unlimited bargains and most importantly, it’s wild night life; just watch A Current Affair to find out. A true surprise was one I didn’t expect to find and instantly couldn’t imagine forgetting. For the Bali party animals, pre drinks start and end at the famous Alley Cats. Hidden in the heart of Kuta off a side street on Poppy’s 2 lies beyond intoxicated memories from foreigners worldwide. With the owners motto; ‘nothing good happens after midnight’, this place is by far the cheapest, rowdiest and most addictive pre drinking bar in Bali. Once you manage to find this guilty pleasure, your first impression leaves you speechless. The interior resembles a schoolyard, filled with benches and stools both inside and out. The entertainment includes 50cent packets of cards, a pool table and a laptop playing the latest pop, lock and dropping beats. AlleyCats couldn’t be further from classy. With the dress code being anything goes; everyone is welcome and standards are at an all time low. Rock a bingtang singlet with matching board shorts and nobodies capable of judging. Given my visual I’ve left you with so far, I’m sure you’re questioning, ‘what exactly is so appealing about this place?”.. My personal favourite is the infamous $1.50 doubledoubles. These illegal glasses of pure intoxication contain double vodka and double red bull, mixed with a much-needed red Fanta to help stomach the powerful concoction. These deadly drinks combined with packets of cards purchased for 50cents at the bar, takes drinking games to a whole new level. Note to self: never sit across from a good looking guy who draws snake eyes in a game of Kings Cup. Four doubledoubles later & I can guarantee you won’t remember the end of the game or worse, have any chance at seducing the babe. The perfect excuse really. Alley Cats also offer a ridiculously cheap food menu. The legendary cheesy potato skins will cost you $2.50, leave you drooling at the mouth and hopefully sober you up enough to continue in yet another drinking game. Thank god. By 9pm the venue is filled with out of control foreigners, 90% of the crowd being Australians. But at the end of the day, we’re all after the same thing, cheap alcohol AKA confidence boosters, a loose time and a happy ending; all willing to ‘stay up all night to get lucky’. At 12pm, the manager who is usually more intoxicated than a large majority of customers calls last drinks and throws everyone out. This is when you leave what’s left of your dignity (if there is any, congrats) behind to roll out onto the streets and into potentially classier places. These options are never-ending, much like their consequences. While the smart ones choose to quit while they’re ahead (or beee-lind), taking the high road home. Others are not so lucky. Sometimes taking home a nice looking 7 foot tall, broad shoulder & fake boobed banchong for the small price of their phone, wallet & dignity. Unlike everything else in Bali, those benching’s don’t come cheap! For now, I leave you with some how-to party in Bali friendly advice. Firstly and from experience, do not join the ‘professional dancers’ when they’re performing on the bars. Just when you didn’t think it was possible, you will be kicked out. Don’t sit on the top of the Bounty's cages and acting like a monkey. Staff will attack you with a broomstick or extremely large menu. Plus, to my surprise this does NOT help you pick up, weird, I know. Think twice before you purchase pseudoephedrine from locals on the street. These 'dealers' generally work for the PoPo, so unless you want to end up in the cell beside Schapelle Corby, I suggest you fix that cold elsewhere. Last but not least, watch yourself, watch your friends and even after you’re full of more alcohol than you should consume in a year, TRY to have some common sense. Don’t be apart of the next A Current Affair ‘Raging Schoolies in Bali’ segment at the age of 23. Believe it or not, it’ll be harder to explain than being robbed by a banchong.