The Angel

by Maria Jacobsson (Sweden)

I didn't expect to find South Africa

In just one second, every single plan we had for the night vanished. We went from watching the gorgeous sunset on our last game drive to breaking the speed limit in the reserve trying to get out. We volunteers tried to hold on as hard as we could as Abena maneuvered the old jeep through the rough terrain. At the last minute, she managed to stop before crashing into a group of confused tourists watching a herd of elephants. Without caring she drove past them with an excited scream as our only excuse and explanation. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry - but my horse is giving birth!” Even though the timing was unfortunate, this had been long anticipated. Charlize was Abena’s horse and queen of the stable. Her offspring would be a dream come true, a reward for all the hardship that came with running a stable in this unforgiving and harsh region. Everyone working at the yard had been eagerly awaiting any signs of an upcoming delivery. We even had a list by the office with all the possible dates that it might happen. Bets had been made. A name was already decided. Charlize’s Secret for a boy, and a girl... Charlize’s Angel. Everyone was over the moon with excitement. I mostly felt lucky to be there. The following morning I was supposed to head back to Johannesburg and board a plane home to the cold winter in Sweden. Mentally, I was already on my way. Now fate wanted me to stay, to be a part of this extraordinary event for reasons I couldn’t even begin to imagine. Charlize laid down and it all went quickly from there. It was a girl. I think it was at that moment our joy turned into concern. The foal’s neck was bent backward in a strange position and the skull swollen and deformed. She wasn’t breathing. Time and time again we tried giving her artificial breathing, rub her with blankets and finally shake her in despair. But it was too late. After what felt like an eternity the vet shook her head and took a step back. The foal was dead. We let Charlize see the foal before taking her away. I think everyone cried the moment we saw that she knew. Together we carried the body outside and laid her down in the sand. I was left with her on the ground while the others went to get black bin bags to wrap the body in. I gently stroke the cheeks of her small head. Her coat had the same color as her mother, light chestnut with a white leg. She was beautiful. I suddenly became aware of the bizarre strangeness of the situation. Here I was, on the ground outside a stable somewhere in rural South Africa, with the head of a dead foal in my lap. The sky was filled with stars and the cooling breeze of the night felt like a forgiving distance from the overbearing heat that likely was to come the following morning. This was supposed to be a night of new life, of celebration and joy. Instead, I felt the lukewarm limbs grow staler for every minute that passed by. “We have to bury the body before dawn, or else the predators will feel the smell,” Abena told us with a cold and distant voice. Suddenly she was no longer the devastated girl mourning the loss of her beloved foal. Now she had to deal with this, no matter what. No one wanted to go back to the reserve and leave Abena alone with the duty of overlooking Charlize. Tired and sad, we all huddled up against the cement wall outside the clubhouse, comforting ourselves and each other. I went to wash the blood off my hands when Abena walked by. Slowly, she ripped the list of the potential dates down from the billboard and shut herself inside the office. But the names were still there. I suddenly realized that it however tragic this night had become, it somehow couldn’t have been more perfect. Now rest in peace - one of my most distinctive memories of my time with the horses in South Africa. Charlize's Angel.