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When I planned to spend the first day of the new year on an overnight cruise trip to Halong Bay, in Vietnam, I was expecting to experience a unique scenario with the harmonic combination of emerald waters and thousands of vibrant limestone islands topped by lush green forests. All of these set under clear blue skies and bright sun. I believed that this would be the prelude for an upcoming new year filled with joy and beauty. However, on that day, the weather played a trick on me revealing a deeply cloudy sky reflected on a gray sea and a sad set of islands almost hidden by pouring rain. But what could have been a big deception turned out to be a magical encounter! It was January 25th, 2020, the day that my sister would turn 45 years-old, but in reality, it was her 38th birthday far from us. Yes, she became a little star at the age of seven leaving a heart-broken and scared ten-year-old sister alone. At that time, I didn’t know how to deal with that loss, and I chose to lock myself in fear and guilt. Lots of questions populated my mind along the years that passed by: “whys”, “hows” and “whats” that haven’t been answered in countless sessions of therapy or a big array of self-knowledge workshops. Not until that day. On that very first day of the year of the Rat, it seemed like I was totally assuming the identity of my sign on the Chinese zodiac: I found myself starting an expedition at the mouth of the “Sung Sot” cave, also known as “Cave of Surprises”, the largest in the Halong Bay area. Its nickname is easily identified by exploring its crevices and recognizing shapes, animals and patterns to the formations. You don’t need to stretch your imagination that much to find them amongst valleys of dripping water and minerals, accumulated in the form of stalactites and stalagmites. The passage throughout the cave was like digging into my deepest unconscious mind and excavating the bottom of my heart to find the deposits of all the fears and limiting beliefs that were obstructing my essence to ascend to the surface. I gazed in awe at the magnitude of that finding. Phew, what a relief! I realized that the cave’s visit, the bad weather and the mysterious and foggy atmosphere of the labyrinth that the islands formed outside of the boat I embarked, represented my inner journey through the obscure grounds of my soul where I nurtured beliefs that hindered me from showing my real identity, and kept me in the shadows for so long. Then, I started a ritual to consecrate my discovery. I wrote a letter to my sister telling her that this time I was choosing to open myself to LOVE and all the magic, beauty and power that comes embedded in it. I folded the letter and put it inside of a lucky red envelope, one that is given to children, relatives and friends during the new year symbolizing good wishes. I threw the paper envelope on the water and kept looking at it until it disappeared in the tide. Right after that, I turned my head up to the sky and saw a timid but strong sunbeam breaking through the clouds, unveiling shades of emerald green in the previously gray water. That was when I felt love emerging and overflowing from me, pure and intense. On that night, when the whole crew sang happy birthday for one of the passengers on board, I, silently, sang it to her. But, deep inside of me, I knew that what I was really celebrating was my re-birth, my freedom. From that moment on, I expect nothing less than a bright and sunny life ahead.