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A princess of my time, my best quality has always been being stupid. Giving too much is always on the table. I put my head on the desk and look out the window. I focus my view on the little bird on the branch of the linden in my backyard. It looks so peaceful, unlike the storm going on inside my head. The bird started to sing, then the little being flew away and took with it all my feelings for him. The way he left me broke my heart. I start thinking that people change and people leave, but how do you know which of them are coming back and which ones are worth waiting for? You don’t. You just give all your love to someone and wait for them to love you back and, when they don’t, you hate yourself. For loving the wrong person. For not being good enough. For trying. Don’t stop trying. You will find your way, but you have to feel this completely. People change, feelings fade and nothing lasts forever. I wipe away my tears. Initially, they were meant to clear my vision, but now they just seem to make my eyes sink and I need to learn how to swim. I can’t take it anymore. I have to close my eyes and sleep, even just for a few minutes. I rest my head on the pillow, but I have no chance to make my eyelids want to touch each other. You might wonder why. Because there he is. Ironically, when I close my eyes, all I can see is him. His smile, the greenness of his eyes and the spark inside of them, reserved only for my sight to be delighted with. That’s when I know I care about him too much. In the middle of the night, after pointless attempts to sleep, I wake up feeling dizzy. I go to the bathroom to wash my sleepy face, yet I can’t help but notice the dark circles under my eyes. I look in the mirror. A fair-haired girl with chocolate brown eyes appears on it. The innocence of her baby face had started to fade, allowing the tears and the worries to sharpen her pure features. I do not like what I see. But suddenly, I don’t see anything. When I finally open my eyes, I see myself trapped in a completely white room, without windows or doors. The ceiling looks just like the floor and I could not be more scared. I start screaming, but I cannot hear myself. I have no voice. The room starts moving and I can hear sounds, strange sounds, loud sounds. Like a storm. They don’t stop, why won’t they stop? I drag my hands to my ears and start singing, hoping it will go away. It does not. I try singing louder and the sounds become voices. Weird voices, telling incomprehensible things. Then there is the wind. The wind starts blowing so fast that I am thrown away, hitting the wall, then I start slipping. I try to grab something, but everything is so slippery. I close my eyes, hoping that everything around me will go away. When I open them again, there I am, standing confused next to my body, back in my bathroom. I touch my skin, but I am so cold. He’s there, knelt next to me, crying and begging and cursing, for a reason I don’t understand. He holds my head in his hands and tries to open my eyes, while hot tears keep invading his face. I try to talk to him, I yell so loudly I can almost feel blood flooding my neck, yet he won’t hear me. Nothing seems to make sense. The intensity of the redness covering this picture grows more and more each second that passes and could horrify even the bravest soldier, but I don’t feel anything. Nothing hurts anymore. What am I missing? Suddenly, it hits me. I am freezing and my face is so pale. My nails are slopping into the ground. My eyes seem lost and the look on my face gives the impression of insanity. What has happened to my body?