The incredible power of one hand shake

by Anna M (Russia)

I didn't expect to find Israel

Once upon a night I woke up because of the horrible pain. My wound from the abscess was burning like a fire. The usual healing of the abscess is not that painful and doesn’t take more than 10 days. It took more than a month for me in Israel. I was worried. In the end I called my madrikh. I felt really bad to call a person I hardly knew at 2 am complaining about the pain and asking what to do. My madrikh replied that I could take a taxi, go to the nearest hospital on my own and wait there for 3-4 hours to be checked. “It’s up to you to decide. But note: people come there with serious injuries after car accidents. Is your case of the same severity?”, he asked me. I decided to go for a walk to breathe. The pain was still horrible. It seemed at that moment, in Israel at night I was alone with the pain. I sat on the bench near my dorm and told the sky about my journey. I told the sky about the glass shower cabin in our apartment in the dorm that was cracked when we moved in and broke with the first attempt to close its door. Legs of my neighbor were cut deeply with glass pieces on the first day she arrived to Israel. We couldn’t take the shower for three days before the bathroom was cleaned. I told then about the holed water rope under the sink in the kitchen. We couldn’t use water in the kitchen for three days before it was repaired. Black mould on windows and walls seemed just a joke compared to these issues. I told about my internship that started only in the middle of April instead of first days of March. The sky is always a good listener; it never interrupts till you finish. I remembered I turned to the 4-month MASA journey, a program in Israel for youth with Jewish roots, after the career in the bank in my country when I was thinking to move to Israel for new career challenges. To make the first steps in Israel more confident, I applied to MASA. The landing process to join this program went smoothly, adventures came later. In a bit more than a month after arrival I suddenly got skin inflammation. To schedule an appointment for a dermatologist visit, it could take 40 minutes hanging on the line before the operator replied. When I finally visited the 70-year old doctor complaining about pain and inflamed lymph nodes, he had a scarce look at me and said like it was nothing major, the skin cream would help. I had to move fast to another medical center. “You waited too long before coming”, the doctor said. I was lying covered with blood from the opened wound crying how cruel life was. Inspiration for Tarantino. Suddenly a nurse who assisted the doctor took my hand and held it very tightly. That was compassion. And my relief. Life was worth living again. The pain in the wound calmed down a bit after my monologue. I went back to the dorm and slept till the early morning. That night was the most awful and most significant night in my journey. I suddenly perceived I transferred responsibility for part of my decisions to program managers to feel myself more protected. I suddenly perceived life sent me all these issues (and many others later) to reveal darkest and unhealed sides of my soul. I faced my fears. Overcoming them, I cleared myself of everything I didn’t need in my life. I didn’t expect to find one tight hand shake from an unknown person could give so much support. That night I promised myself to take the full responsibility for my life on my own and to relate to people only from love, care and professionalism. A person is strong when she/he shares love and care independent of the hell around. Love and care are best supporters in the face of fears. The big scar from that abscess tattooed on my skin is the permanent reminder of this lesson. Thank you, Israel.