The lost self

by Saira Khan (Pakistan)

A leap into the unknown Turkey

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It was our last day in the university and I was extremely excited for the trip I had planned along with my friend, Jason.The first country where we were to land was Turkey, the only thing I knew about the country, other than their language and Istanbul, was that the tomb of the great Sufi poet was in Turkey. “What's the plan?” I asked. “Don't waste any more time, go home, take your luggage and reach the airport as soon as possible,” I reached home and took a bath, I dressed up and booked a taxi. On my way to airport I had mixed emotions, one feeling tumbling over the other. We both reached there on time and boarded the plane, We landed and booked a taxi for Konya. The first thing we have to do is to find a hotel. We reached Konya and booked a room in a 3 star hotel, it was nice and fairly priced. We had a nice traditional Turkish lunch, I cannot even pronounce the names of those dishes. “We planned to stay one night here right,” Jason asked “Yes you are right, I am talking about visting Rumi's shrine,” I replied. “Oh there! sure let's go bro," He said as he got up from the bed. We got down in the street booked a taxi again and within a few minutes we were in front of that beautiful and majestic palace. I heard a soft Persian music coming from distance and I began to trail the sound. I reached what looked like an open courtyard, where a number of dervishes were whirling and people from all over the world were gathered to witness the ceremony. I knew what was going on, it was Sema, a traditional Sufi dance. I had read about it. I decided to find myself a quiet place where I could just be by myself and contemplate, and enjoy the music. I could have never imagined or expected that to happen. It is important to mention here that though I have been close to Sufi's and Sufi practices and traditions, I have always been a man of science and reason. I sat down with my back against the wall. I don't know when but I closed my eyes. Suddenly the tomb became silent I could not hear anything. Then I heard a voice, "What are you looking for?" At first, I thought people might be talking to each other, but I heard the same question but this time I also felt a hand on my shoulder. I opened my eyes and saw that a man was standing on my left side, he had a white beard, bright sparkly eyes and his face suggested that he was an old man. “I don't know Sir,” I replied. "Perhaps, because you don't know yourself," he countered. “You won't find anything until you've found yourself and once you have found yourself you'll stop looking for anything else,” he said. “I don't know, I want to meet myself, where should I go?” I asked. "Walk on the path of love, because that is what purifies you son, when we are born we are given an identity by the people around us, and we believe that to be us but somewhere at some point in our lives we feel lost, that is the voice of that original identity of yours, it awaits to be discovered. He said and stood up as he finished and started walking to the gate of the tomb. I I felt someone was pulling my arm, I opened my eyes, it was Jason. I had been dreaming. "Hey, what happened to you? Before I could answer, he continued, "Anyway, I am drowsy as well, no wonder you slept. We have been traveling and deprived of sleep. Let's go, let's take some rest." “ Alright let's go then,” I said and I got up. We began to walk outside and Jason walked ahead to call for a taxi. I had still not recovered from what looked like a weird dream.