The Power of Expectations

by Carly Ferraco (United States of America)

I didn't expect to find Vietnam

I grew up around expectations, and I came to know them well. I thrived on expectations to earn the best grades in school, attend church every week, or present the best version of myself. Expectations gave me the motivation to reach goals and have a sense of direction in my life. They also gave me a sense of comfort because I knew what was expected of me, and I didn’t have to go searching for the right answer. With a life full of expectations under my belt, it was instinctual that my expectations would play a large part in the planning of a two-month long backpacking trip in South East Asia. At first, expectations were my motivation like they had always been. They pushed me to research and create an itinerary that I thought I would truly love. As the planning continued, I began to have many expectations about how great it would be to explore freely without a job and how I could ensure that everything was perfect. I expected that every minute of the trip would lead to the best memories of my life. I expected to be immersed in a cultural experience while visiting Bali. I expected to witness the most beautiful scenery in Ha Long Bay. I expected to experience the best food-culture in Singapore. While traveling, I quickly realized that the expectations I had created for the trip were far beyond any reality. The food in Singapore was enjoyable, but not as delicious as I had imagined. The scenery in Ha Long Bay was pretty, but not as awe-inspiring as it was in my dreams. I was consistently let down by things that I had expected to blow me away. However, it became evident that even the most perfect scenario couldn’t have lived up to the fantasy I had created in my head. The expectations that brought excitement prior to embarking on my trip were now stirring up feelings of anxiety and disappointment. I became worried that I wasn’t living in the present and fully enjoying my travels. I decided that the only way to reverse these feelings was to eliminate my expectations. Soon after, everything I began to experience was unexpected. This led to some of the best memories of my trip, as I was no longer limiting my happiness to the outcome of my expectations. I didn’t expect to find that encountering problems, like running out of money on a remote island, would be the most told story from the trip. I didn’t expect to find friends on the road, let alone one I would talk to every night for hours. I didn’t expect to find cultural experiences when lodging at homestays. I didn’t expect to find that the most beautiful city I would visit was one I had never even heard of. On a trip where I started out expecting everything, I didn’t expect to find that removing all expectations would lead to joy. I didn’t expect to find that I no longer thrive on expectations at all. Expectations no longer bring me comfort like they used to. My first long-term travel experience helped me to understand how much I was missing by allowing expectations to dominate my life. I still have expectations, but managing them is a lot easier now that I know the control they can have over my perspective. When I find myself desiring a future home in the trendy part of town, or feeling required to have a job that utilizes my college degree, I realize that these are all narrow points of view defined by my expectations. When I don’t let expectations form boundaries in my life, I become open-minded to a world where my possibilities are endless.