The Self-Fulfilling Prophesy

by Lauren Williams-Arnold (United States of America)

I didn't expect to find USA

I didn’t expect to find myself. After all, at 28, after 1 failed marriage, several other karmic relationships, countless bills with not enough money to cover them, and the new found inability to drink alcohol without being catatonic at work the next day, I thought I knew all about what it meant to be an adult(or rather how to successfully appear like I’m not a total disaster). However, tired of the monotony of “rinse, work, repeat”, and developing a thirst to seek out my highest, happiest self, I set out on a mission: “See the world, find your purpose”. I didn’t know what that meant either by the way, but as much as I wanted to be “woke”, I found myself with an almost desperate need to be awake-to feel alive. I wanted to be uncomfortable in new settings, relying on my own almost dormant inner strength to in a way activate, and unlock something beautiful within me. I wanted my own epic to tell someday. And within an 8 month period, while doing a full time study abroad program spanning four different campuses in four different countries, that actually happened. But while I could spaif and say that I learned about my A-1 organisation and multitasking skills, it was after the juggling was over and the money ran dry that I saw what I was REALLY made of. I arrived in Mykonos of all places penniless(don’t judge me, I know I’m a woman, and no I didn’t have pepper spray) but grateful and eager to take in all of Greece’s beauty. Citibank had notified me of fraudulent charges to my bank account, and with the swiftness of sleep, my account was closed. I didn’t want to let that stop me though, so after my finals Rome, I decided to still backpack-after all, RyanAir doesn’t do refunds. My couchsurfing host was a blessing in disguise, disguised as a creepy middle aged man in a floral poncho who wanted to “be the big spoon” in a one room flat in which he insisted we share. And despite and in spite of his insistence to make me feel as uncomfortable as possible initially, I found my voice in the resistance, and gained the respect of the locals, and the cats.( seriously don’t judge, when was the last time you got the respect of a cat you weren’t feeding?) I found my strength in my endurance-in painting the white on the famous limestone houses, in setting up the furniture for the AirBnB guests, and for keeping calm and remaining open. I worked my ass off for the experience in saying nobody gave it to me-not because I was pretty, or because I was technically a broke nomad, and I left Mykonos more proud of myself than I EVER have been before. And my couchsurfing host? He backed off and bowed down. My travels continued from Haifa; Tel Aviv; and Jerusalem to Limmosol, Cyprus, Milan, Singapore, and the love and generosity of others sustained me, really letting me know that despite being alone, I wasn’t alone in this world. Even as I write this, I remember not having working data or service on my phone, yet having to record voice notes of perfect strangers, helping me, guiding me with places to eat, directions, and even words of wisdom. From January 6th, 2019 to August 16th 2019, I did 32 countries. I met countless people, and found soul family. I watched sunsets in Thessaloniki listening to Afrobeats and roamed dark streets at night in Gothenburg looking for trouble with my friends. I danced in Berghain with mud stained clothes on, and all but lived in Sega cafes in Matsudo. Lord only knows how I did it, but through the countless hours of talking, laughing, planning, CRYING, I received the most precious gift of all-a sense of self. Amassed from the countless people and circumstances that influenced me, I found out who I was, and there is nothing more epic than that.