The Wait

by Oyshabibi Sultonkhonova (Uzbekistan)

A leap into the unknown France

We all wait for happiness. It comes suddenly, and despite our wait – unexpectedly. But are we brave enough to recognize it? My best travel story began in the enigmatic web of the Internet. By writing best travel story, I mean love story. Hackneyed, but true. For a long time my dream destination was France – original, I know. That winter day I devoted my whole self to writing my best motivation letter to apply the summer internship program in magical France. Little I did know that the true magic was silently knocking on my Instagram account. Doubtfully, I opened the door and leapt into the unknown. When you wait for something for a long time, or better say your entire life, the realization of your dream seems like a fairytale. You have been waiting hastily for a long time; you cannot believe it will come so effortlessly. Maybe you can, but I screwed it up. We lived in different cities, different countries. We talked over a month, never seeing one another. He dedicated three beautiful poems and complimented me every day with many lyric letters. I kept wondering and blaming him for having seemingly shallow relationship attitude. I kept saying: “How can you say you love me so deep never seeing me in person, knowing nothing about me?” For what he replied: “Darling, doubt the night to be a day, but never doubt in my love.” Anyway, I did. We argued every day. Every day we broke up, but shortly after, we would reunite at ease. He told me harsh truths about his past; we had no common interests and had different views yet; it felt terrible to let him go. Our hearts already know everything we should know. We just need to have a strong ear to listen to it. One spring day we stopped our mutually wanted conversation. Let the reasons remain a secret. I won that scholarship and was about to visit the dream of my life – France. Even a little bird, singing every day behind our windows, seemed to be more excited than I was. All I wanted was to hear the doorbell ring and show me his shiny silhouette… But he did not come. One summer day I flew to Paris, and “I leapt into the unknown: part two” began. Often we are blinded with our wrong expectations. We meet great disenchantment when we get something we longed to have. That did not happen to France and me. France occurred to be just the same as I imagined it: versatile, graceful and colorful. I walked through the ancient streets, historic stone paths, observed vintage lamps and was bewildered by stunning architecture. In France, every bush has a story, and every butcher is eager to share it. I was walking further from the group, but I was not alone – he accompanied me wherever I went. I felt his presence during our one-hour cruise through the Seine, the three-hour excursion at revered Clos Lucé – Leonardo da Vinci’s residence and 12-kilometer walk to magnificent Mont Saint-Michel. I tasted one of the best wines in France from Bordeaux, enjoyed exquisite homemade French cheese, a famous traditional meal of Brittany – gallete, walked through some gorgeous little boutiques in Guérande and always felt like something is missing… We stayed at the lyceum in La Baule Escoublac, so every day we had the chance to listen to a fairy twitter of the seagulls, lay on the beach and meditate looking at the sea. You touch the hot sand, dig your legs deep inside, look at the bright sun and understand how wonderful the life is. That was my first acquaintance with the sea; we liked each other a lot and appointed many late rendezvous’… The night sea is amazing: there are almost no people on the beach, scary yet soothing sound of waves is augmented and mysterious moonlight is majestically reflected on the surface of the dark sea. At these moments, flying seagulls and the sound of waves kept telling me: “Don’t be afraid, one day he will accompany you not only having a secure place in your heart, but being a brave knight by your side”.