Time to forget

by Melanie van der Velde (Netherlands)

I didn't expect to find Netherlands

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‘Why do you write down every word that pops into your mind?’ We’re spending another evening on the beach, having another one of our talks. The waves keep interrupting us, but I don’t blame them. The coast never gives them the attention they’re craving for. That’s a feeling I've grown accustomed to by now. ‘Well, my notebook is like an external hard drive.’ Writers cling to the past because it implies a sense of control. It’s funny, how we keep fooling ourselves with that kind of stuff. ‘There’s nothing about you that’s normal, is there?’ I guess you must be right. ‘Do you ever write about me?’ The curls in your hair have been brightened by the sun. Your skin is tanned and soft. ‘Yes, I write a lot about you.’ Your blue eyes seem surprised. Gently reminding me why I fell in love with you. ‘You know the first time we kissed, you said something that I’ll never forget.’ I immediately know what you’re talking about. At the time I wanted to know what it’d be like to sleep with you. ‘But when did you realize you wanted to sleep with me?’ You shrug your shoulders. ‘I don’t know, I’ve never thought about it like that.’ That’s because life is easy for you. You enjoy something or you don’t. You like someone or you don’t. You're solid as a rock, peaceful, yet filled with joy and excitement. The best part is that you’re not doing this on purpose. You’re even not trying to do anything. This is just who you are. ‘No wait, it must’ve been around the time that you started wearing sexy outfits to the office.’ I never started to wear sexy outfits to the office, I swear. ‘It was distracting me whenever we had a meeting or when we were talking about an email or something.’ You give your cocktail one of those smiles that only appears alongside a memory. ‘Hey, how many guys have you slept with by the way?’ I don’t know why, but your question freaks me out. It must be the direct, yet playful way in which you’re asking it. ‘Probably about fifty.’ It might’ve been one hundred, or even two. Right now, I can’t even recall a single time. ‘Why do you ask?’ You shrug your shoulders once more. ‘Just curiosity, that’s all.’ I believe you, there's no judgement there. ‘You know, we’ve been on this island for a week now, but I still don’t understand anything about you.’ I’m waiting for you to elaborate on your statement, but you won’t. Probably because you like me, but you can’t do anything about it. ‘Cool, thanks.’ I smile. You laugh. ‘You’ve got so many ways to say 'cool', it’s fascinating.’ You’re a keen observer. That’s another pleasant surprise. Occasionally our talks feel like I’m discovering a new planet, but most of the time they make me feel at home. ‘Cool, thanks.’ The fact is that you’re in a relationship with someone else. Three days before we went on this trip together, you asked her to be your girlfriend. Perhaps you’ll make each other happy. I really hope you do, or you should try to at least. Even if there’s just the slightest chance for that happiness. Isn’t that what we’re all looking for, in the end? ‘Do you wanna go dance?’ I smile again. You laugh again. I want you to live your life. I want you to have everything you ever dreamed of. You’ll be amazing at whatever you're going to do, I’m sure of that. I’ll continue to wander, roam the earth and simultaneously float amongst the clouds. I’ll try to find myself, or peace. Peace within myself. Peace which you already have. It’s time. Time to forget about that time.