Time travel to the beginning

by Sarah-Maria Merz (Germany)

I didn't expect to find Germany

Time travel to the beginning It‘s 00:00 Am on January 1st. The silence was broken by the first hiss of a small rocket rising up the dark blue sky and bursting with a loudly noise like the popping of our champagne cork we decapitated at the same time. More and more of the small explosive bundles rose into the sky and united into a gigantic swarm of brightly stars and all of a sudden the night turned into a wonderful symphony of Light and sonority. For seconds my heart stopped bumping in my chest the spectacle slowed down. My friends jumping into the air smiling and laughing in slow motion, the lights fade away as if I were in another dimension. I thought about something I read a long time before. Seven seconds before you die every single detail of your life passes by right in front of your eyes faster than you could even imagine but with the feeling of relive all over again. A hand holding mine, small tears of joy dripping down my mothers face when I saw her clearly for the first time. Her special smell reaching out for my senses and her lips moving to fragments of mumbling I don‘t remember. My first steps on tremulous feet trying my hardest to walk. The ponytail my Mom made me every morning and the funny clownshow we once had in Preschool. For sure, I felt my breathless lungs afterwards, by running to the bus and the hurtful pain in my knees when mom and I fell on the asphalt and missing our chance to drive home. I cried, and she stood up, grabbed my hand and stroke across my cheeks, wiping away the hot salty tears, smiling and convincing that everything will be okay. I slowly closed my eyes and when I opened them I found my three-year-old self in a hospital. My lungs were filled with pain. Bronchiolitis Obliterans they said to me. A chronic lung disease which leads my lung to shrink bit by bit. I didn‘t realize what was happening and all I did was thinking about to get some chips. I begged for salty crispy chips and my Mother told it my Dad. Thoughts faded about him because I never really saw him again. He wasn‘t prepared to take responsibility for a sick child. And the worst part of all was that I didn‘t even got my chips. Time passed and so did the process of healing. When I was four, Mom and I found a wonderful Man which was happily chosen by myself to be my Dad. I took a deep breath, blinked again and smiled in front of a camera. >> Say cheese<< Next to me my best friends Vivien and Sebastian, showing off their brightest smile. First Day of primary school, one of the most peaceful and happiest times I‘ve had in my entire childhood. Playing polly pocket with Anika, listening to songs and being fluttery excited for the weekly bowling trips with our families. Second grade when my mom and my dad decided to move away and the part after getting used to my new life. Days were getting boring, so I wanted a playmate like a sibling or a dog. Well I got two of them. I can‘t complain, they can sit, they are potty trained and best of all I can play with them all day long. My sisters are pretty amazing. As older I got, as more I moved with my family, learned new things and changed my mind, my personality. I didn‘t know how but the years passed so quickly, that I nearly lost the grip of reality. Everything felt slightly dizzy. All the people I met, all the parties I went to, every hour I spent in school felt like a dream. Blurred and not real, as if I didn‘t live my life by myself. I closed my eyes for the last time. I felt my heart bumping in my chest, the cold air which filled my lungs, the smell of smoke and suddenly heard hissing and bangs getting louder and louder. When I opened my eyes I saw clearly for the first time again.