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I. A donkey’s penis? No, I have not. I have however always seen how people clamor to get to the top and have a view. There is always a hornet buzz of activity at the base of it- a throng of tourists and locals working their way up the phallus. For years I have walked past it to school, to errands, to writers’ conventions all the while brushing shoulders with eager faces craning their necks to see how far up they expect to go. The Kenyatta International Convention Centre (KICC). Twenty-eight floors. 105 meters. “The initial tower was inspired by a donkey’s penis,” KICC Architect,2019. II If you were to vie for the Presidency in Kenya and had the image of Eiffel on your campaign poster, chances are you could win. That sounds funny, but you have to understand the stature it holds. It is a remarkable architectural feature that is the holy grail of social status. For my peers, visiting Eiffel elevates your respect almost as high as the structure goes. It is for such social clout that I found myself lost in the Paris Metro system a few months ago. I had gone to France for work but my schedule was extremely tight for me to engage in tourist activities. But surely, what answer would I give to my ancestors when they find out I sat in a 10-hour flight from one end of the world to Paris and did not see The Eiffel? You should have seen me, rushing around trying to catch the right Metro to the Paris Centre before sunset. I know very inconsequential French; enough to show I do not know enough. There I was shouting “excusez-moi,” and “pardon” to strangers as I struggled to read the metro maps . I hopped from train to train and got lost more times than I could count. I was as confused as a pregnant lizard in a demolished toilet, but the Eiffel beckoned. Earlier in the day, I sat at a lunch with three French friends whilst adorning the popular Kenyan-flag bracelet. I bragged of the famous Kenyan wildlife Safaris and the fact that Nairobi is the only city in the world with a National Park within. I admitted still, of my envy of their lifetime privileged access to the Eiffel. I did not realize my statement was a datum for a sudden burst of laughter and shared glances between them. Two of them had not been up the tower. I sighed, shook my head and informed them of my plan to trot up the structure later. Nothing prepared me for the pre-eminent symbol of French pride that stood in front of me towering over the skyline of Paris. There was a long queue of tourists at the bottom akin to Kenya’s Iconic KICC in addition to several merchants. “Parlez-vous anglais? I asked one of the merchants who luckily did speak English. Small talk, and I realize he has worked in France for thirty years. Perfect. “How do I pay to go up and how would you describe the view?” He chuckles and smirks, “I have never bothered to climb this iron mast.” III. The cab driver picking me from the airport is going on and on about something to do with economic regression since the past week when I was away. We make our way through the busy roads leading into the Nairobi CBD as I nod and give an occasional absent-minded “ooooh” to the driver. I still cannot fathom how many French residents have never been up the Eiffel. We pass by the KICC and for the first time, I take note of the significant activity tourists have been engaging in with the phallus-like structure; an archetypal aerial view of Nairobi that I have never had. All these years rushing to Uganda to see the source of the River Nile or the South African Table Mountains and blaming French nationals for not appreciating the Eiffel had me disillusioned as a great traveler. However, I had never been up KICC, a landmark as significant to Kenya as Eiffel is to Paris. All along, I have regarded myself adventurous- a world nomad. But am I?