Trust Fall

by Srijani Deb (India)

A leap into the unknown India

Trust Fall Being from a mediocre background with sky-scraping dreams, starting from low budget tour was the best fit I guess. Nothing too fancy since economy was the only issue holding me back; So during the Christmas holidays of 2019, I took my very first solo trip to a small village in one of the largest states of India, West Bengal. It wasn’t exactly a trip, but more of a camping and rock climbing expedition. I went with a group and abnormally in that group of almost twenty people; I’ve never felt so solitary that it became a pleasant awakening to me. It was when I found my subconscious awake and vivid in the lights of the sun and the darkness of the night. It is true what they say, you are at your best when you are alone and I have never felt this confident when I was sitting on top of that 70 feet high boulder that I climbed on my own for the very first time, with moist eyes, gawking at the small round village that looked like a hundred Lilliput scattered around at the foot of the hill at that point of time. I have been on hill tops before yet somehow this not-so-popular, not-so-high range of hills struck to me and pulled out from me what was sleeping, concealed to my eyes and senses. That’s when I knew what I was capable of. Being bubbly and chubby people discouraged me saying “Maybe you should not go here. Maybe you’re a little too much for this.” I kept silent, hoping for time to come and then I learnt how to climb mountains, how to stand firm on my ground, how to keep my held high like the mountains and how I should just shrug off unnecessary commentaries like dust on sleeve. That is also when I knew that if I had to constantly remind myself of what I am capable of doing if I’m determined, I should travel, travel more often to strengthen my confidante, to shape my self-organizational skills profoundly and most importantly know the world as it is, unbiased, unfiltered. Going places and experiencing them is like looking at the fresh clear water that no one has yet set foot on, you know the truth that’s happening, rather, than sitting at home, reading about it and seeing pictures. I was worried at first if I can manage it on my own, and I did. I managed to survive the whole 5 days better on my own than when I’ve toured with my family and friends. The people I went with, I shared tents, food, memories, stress with became an integral part of my existence. From being complete strangers to people I would depend on, the journey was a roller coaster. Whilst still training, I fell from 30 feet high boulder but strikingly I never hit the ground. Whenever I felt stressed out and wanted to quit, startlingly I felt at peace like never before. When wild animals almost trod over spare tents in the middle of the nights surprisingly we were sound asleep and full well. The trees that supposedly confused a man his way remarkably helped him to know his true extant. Isn’t this amazing how strange lands can become so unforgettably dear to you that you are bound to shed tears when leaving. That it makes you want to go back there no matter what and get a closure and begin another journey. I went to just experience the true meaning of travelling and I happily, helplessly and hopefully confess that there’s no getting out of it. It is an element as important as water and air and this is what keeps a man alive! My companions called this a leap of faith but I would rather call it a trust fall for the better from the one I used to be to the one I am now all because of that five days!