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In the morning, I awoke in my Tuscan villa with a disconcerting combination of dread and exhilaration. It had only been so many hours prior to this fourth of July morning that I had received the phone call notifying me of my truest friend making the sudden decision to cross over the rainbow bridge. It was the last thing I had ever anticipated to happen as I left home for the first time to make my European dreams come alive after twenty years of fantasizing them. All grief aside, today is the first day since I’ve arrived in Italy during the peak of this heat wave that swimming is a part of the itinerary. After a week of baking in the sun, I’m more than ready to swim in the Mediterranean in one of my dream destinations; the Cinque Terre. The two hour bus ride to the coast confirmed why this country is nothing short of a fantasy and why it was calling out to me for all of these years. Just as my hometown in Pennsylvania consists of farms and cornfields, Italy consists of sunflower fields and miraculous alps decorating the horizon. As the rest of my group drifted into and out of their own unconscious dream state, I was too captivated in living my own while fully awake. Upon our arrival, we followed our travel guide Alessio to the tram that takes us from one coastal village to the next along the Italian Riviera. I quickly learned the meaning behind Cinque Terre, which is five lands. We began our adventure in the picture perfect, all too famous coastal village that is Monterosso. Walking through the village was like walking into an entirely new world. The colors were bright and the atmosphere was alive. The walk down the coastal village consisted of abundant steps. It was contradictory to be grieving and eagerly exploring the magic of a new place all at the same time. There were street vendors selling their wares for a couple euros each, tourist traps with the same Cinque Terre cursive writing along floppy sun hats, and a delicious taste of salt in the air. Then I saw it. The endless sight of blue in a shade I’ve never quite seen before. Not just one shade, but three, no four, all somehow respecting one another enough to glisten in their own way. Then came the screams, not of tragedy but of exhilaration and joy. I run up to get a closer look and see cliff jumpers left and right on the top of this rock that appeared so tiny from where I stood but not nearly as tiny as the humans that occupied it. My underlying sadness melted away as I realized today is going to be the day I face one of my greatest fears while simultaneously crossing off one of my greatest bucket list items. Today I am going cliff jumping for the first time in the Cinque Terre. For too long, I have allowed fear to prevent me from experiencing life. Perhaps it is just the adrenaline or the new mindset that death is inevitable and life must be lived, but when I found myself on that same rock as those cliff jumpers, I took the leap. Seconds after hearing the faded out but also very clear countdown from swimmers who had already made the jump below, I ignored the dreaded fluttering of fear causing chaos within my stomach and I took the leap. Thus began the recurring dream of falling I’ve had plenty of times before. Anticipating the impact of my body crashing into the water below me, the sounds of the rest of the world around me vanished. All at once, the Mediterranean swallowed me whole and after doing flips underneath the water I couldn’t tell which direction would lead me to the surface. I followed the light and like a fish out of water I gasped for air and coughed up what little salt water managed to go up my nose. Wide-eyed and in shock, I looked around me to see the other jumpers occupying the waters surrounding me. In that one singular decision, I understood how to live.