Unexpected feelings

by igmar flores (Brazil)

I didn't expect to find Chile

I went to visit this handicraft fair, called santa Lucia, down town Santiago, capital of Chile, after a long stressful night, I had only one purpose in mind, it was to buy a leather bag, and some souvenirs. I arrived there at 10:00 am, hopping to find everything opened, but most of the tents were closed, that for, I started to wander for all round the fair, as things were calm and silent I payed attention to my surrounding, the smell was a mix of craftsmanship with leather and wet soil, then a nostalgic feeling began on me, this looks familiar - I thought, In seconds I was thirteen years old again, the memories came back, like the innocence to not knowing how the day is gonna end, or how many people were gonna come inside my tent to buy anything, I remembered how I marveled at new tourist coming in, and the way I watched their faces, stunned by all the craftsmanship I was selling, realized how proud I felt about the piece of art I was offering. As a sense that I was safe took over me, I looked closer to the people working in the tents, I listening to their voices, tasted that sound of sincerity embedded with hope and a bit of persuasion, that one, expecting you could buy something, I have already used that!. I could not notice when, but the fair was fully opened, it was then I saw a particular gaze, a tender smile in a strong face, which called my attention, it was a woman in her late thirties or more, she had long black hair, white skin, medium size, the reason why she got my attention was not clear , I just noticed her eyes, there was something that called softness, tenderness, and strong attitude at the same time, I entered in her tent, looked at her, she smiled to me, then I said . I am searching for simple gifts to give away to some friend. She replied , here I have some keychains as souvenir, that may be a good option. I looked at it, and they were colorful, I liked it, started to choose some, decided to buy 7 pieces, I took my chance to pay with coins, as she had to attend other clients, I spend some time in her tent counting the coins, after I finished counting, I gave the money to her, - here you are. I said - you can count and confirm, I asked her. - she replied -I will not count again, I trust !. It is ok. That attitude confirmed what I felt when I saw her. I believed she was a reflection of my mom, she fit in the strong aspects of her. I leave the tent, sat down in a bench, right there again the nostalgic continued, For a unknown reason, I started to picture my father entering the fair, in his late thirties, meeting my mom for the first time, those 2 worlds getting to know each other, I thought about the hidden, sad, and suffered world of him, meeting the strong , insecure, tender world of my mom, I started to wonder, why this two individuals become interested in each other, would that be her strong heart and need for security? for his side, would it be the desire to rely on the kindness and innocence of Goya?, or a strong need to find a safe and trusting friendship?. I pictured he looking at her, smiling. As she was there in her tent, looking back curious wondering - what this man want in here?. I cried in silence, honoring that brief feeling they felt in each other, that which causes suffering and hurt but at te same time is the door for connection and love. Somehow, I remembered, that even though he loved her, Rodolfo has chosen to left, besides, the fact that he has abandon another kid, he had with another woman, clarified the case for me. I stoped crying, I accepted his decision. I got back to the present moment, looking at my keychains that were heavy, I gazed at the leather bag I could no buy, I thought : What an amazing day is this!.