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A journey is no fun without your loved ones. But a solo trip allows you to be more sensitive and focused on the surroundings. Tokyo has taught me that once we met up with each other during those raining days of November. The weather wasn’t really welcoming starting the whole frustration right at the very beginning. Along with all the expectations ahead, a mixed feeling was shaped inside me while waiting for a bus outside the airport. Though it didn’t bother me that much since Tokyo from what I heard and believed, wasn’t going to treat me badly. Looking through a bus window to watch things going on outside is always a thrill. However, it didn’t feel the same this time on my way heading to Tokyo Station. All I was able to capture were largely another bunch of glass windows passing by. At around 12 p.m., I couldn’t see the cloud clear enough, not because of the heavy rain, but because of numerous skyscrapers all over the place. Setting my foot off the bus terminal, I found myself lost in the middle of a street full of hustle, full of high-rises with square glasses where I only see various buildings reflected in another building. This whole enormous surrounding just gave me the sense it was apparently trying to crush hard the tiny little person I am. The crowd on the street was seemingly the most polite one I’ve ever seen when the suit was a dominant dressing choice. It’s so much easier to come across someone all dressed up than wearing casual clothes. Everyone appeared to be in a rush for something important except for those with luggage on the shoulder like me. Opening up my GPS was a confusing moment when it located me inside the station whereas I obviously was in the middle of the street. It took me a while to realize the station is underground with entrances hidden in those giant buildings. Looking for a way down to the subway is no different than finding an exit of a big maze. But for me at that moment, it’s more like seeking an escape from the overwhelming and stuffy feeling gradually taking over me. Entering from door to door of each luxurious shopping mall, I also took a quick look around. I was shocked in surprise since everything was so extravagant and overpriced. Those would be the prices perhaps I might pay in the future when the money loses its value over time. On the other hand, robot machines appeared so commonly in the shops which I only could imagine from those fantasy movies. The moment I walked down the station, I realized everything outside was just the surface. It’s a city with its life underground. The crowd outside is nothing compared to the inside. I was lost into another maze where it’s even harder to navigate the way. As hopeless as it turned out, it’s way better for me to turn around and go back outside. On the sidewalk, I was heading nowhere with a little music playing in my headphones just to relax from the reality for a bit. I kept walking leisurely under the rain until some familiar words came up. That’s a man welcoming to his small restaurant who recognized his own fellow Vietnamese just by a look. This was the moment I suddenly found back my own existence and identity. Tokyo is such an amazing city but what bothered me wasn’t coming from the place itself but from the reality that I didn’t know how to do things here. Nothing around could relate me to something familiar. Something for me to rewind time or feel my existence so far like the other places. I was stepping into a whole new world where I’m a complete outsider and can’t define my identity with things around. I’m not ready yet for the modern world like that. It doesn’t carry the simplicity or tranquility with idyllic greenery I’m used to. That’s when I realized how much I’m still deep into the images and memories from the past and present that I never give myself a try to draw any picture of the future world.