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“We worked on different understandings of ourselves for too long’ And now the skies have change enough times for us to no longer traces out shapes of clouds, We make haste in our ways, In our thoughts; steps, Whatever carries us away, From chasing after the ones who’ve chosen to remain idle yet in thought, But always in contradiction.” Heard your god whispers of you to the winds, in search of your dead god we set to the journey where our 2019 summed up. And it’s kind of funny how one can associate memories with a place. It was one of those days when everything goes against the plans yet you end up having tons of fun, because the people around you are simply amazing. We were on a mountain top bowing to the god we just figured was hanging upside town on a tree top. Suddenly turned into the elephant from that jumbo movie. And out of nowhere it just flapped its wings and went away just like that. It was just very confusing, we all looked at each out and fell on ground, laughing. That night we camped on the mountain top with sky so bright, stars shinning and twinkling, us having no fear, laying on the grass, joining stars to the dots making our much interpreted constellations. we have all had come so far leaving our worries behind, giggling for things we could not say out sober. Listening to sweet melodies of rabab (a traditional instrument). We wrote names on the tree trunks and made patterns on stats that is said to have held the worlds of kings and queens, whose name, even the books they enclose have forgotten. Hollow trunks with cracks that had held the light reflected from the jewels of the stars. It felt like we were all trapped in a prism, and there is no brighter side when it comes being entrapped within a prism. Because when light approaches it disperse into every color of spectrum, feels like we’ve become the keeper of an infinity and glory. We found the meaning of living in that single night and I know our lives get busy sometimes and every person around us are going through things they never talk about and things that had been eating them since too long now. And it’ll take a long before things can go back to the way they were, then again neither of us have ever wanted to because that time has passed, whatever for good or for worse. We would not have been where we are today if our lives were any different. It was the time where all I could see was now, and the voices that tends to hallucinate in my mind leaves me with no option but to keep on relying on those that walk with me. For now, I dismiss the words these winds carry to me against them. For that time I wrote a poem for all I wanted to say out loud but could not gather myself up: The time as it flies With heals and highs The moment when pink turns to white When hue burns the vibe, From dusk to dawn From skies turning faun The hole that tunnels Right into the puddle I can see the dusking sight It puzzles my mind The smoke turning white A sip of sugar With a burning story to hide It frosts the bite Ears gone deaf, lips gone numb The catching fire the burning lump The world so distorted People so contorted My head so heavy I can barely see the burnt Take me back to the time Where it all started Starts shining so bright With us having so height The ground beneath our feet, wide Yet no place to hide My body shivering in cold But can’t take your hold The darkness scares my soul And underneath I know I‘m not so good for your impeccable mold. It all felt like pieces of puzzle coming together and making more sense each day. It surely felt like a much needed beak.