What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger

by Laura Barton (Ireland)

I didn't expect to find Italy

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger - That’s what they say. Although, at that moment I had trouble believing it. It was the start of the travel season, New Year's day to be exact. I was racing down the Italian Alps and then BAM! That’s when it happened. My whole life flashed before my eyes. I could see it all so clearly, everything was in slow motion. There was no way of preventing it, all I could do was make the courageous decision to keep my back straight, my head up off the ground and take in...one...deep...breath. My screams echoed across the valley and the tree’s shook as I let out an agonising roar. And from that point everything became a big blur. My right leg had taken all the impact, there was a stabbing pain I could not ignore and I just lay there in the fresh snow...motionless. Help was quick to arrive, although for me it seemed like hours had passed by as I just sat still. The hospital room was warm, hotter than I expected and life was moving on around me. Yet, I just sat there, still as can be. All the doctors were speaking Italian around me. Yet, one word stood out - “Operazione”. That’s when my world came crashing down and my new reality began to sink in. Two weeks had passed and luckily I had made it back to Dublin. Words can not describe how comforting it was to hear the doctors speak to me in a language I could understand. Yet, some things still sounded foreign to me. The doctor described my ankle as a broken egg shell glued together, still as fragile as the day it broke. They remained hopeful that I would learn to walk again but the word ‘learn’ continuously echoed around in my mind. Just how my screams echoed in the valley on that tragic day. I repeatedly questioned - Learn to walk? But I don’t forget. That was a concept I could not get my head around. Eight weeks later, I made my way back to the hospital. This time with the biggest grin on my face. Today’s the day I get my life back, or so I thought. I sat on the patient's bed, my fists clenched in anticipation. I watched the level of concentration on the doctor's face as he cut open my cast and instantly the air hit my leg, causing me to burst into tears. I stared at my leg a little bit confused, I could see it, I could feel it but I could not move it. - Nothing. Just then, I got hit with a range of emotions. How could it be? Why me? Will I ever walk again? These very thoughts haunted me for weeks. I lay in bed allowing anxiety to take over. You see, that September I had planned to go on my biggest adventure yet. My goal was to take on Asia. 4 months, just me, my backpack and the world. Suddenly that dream was slipping between my fingertips. Now, at that point I could have easily given up, tossed away my dreams and lived my life in fear of all the what ifs, but instead… I decided to make new goals. They started off small, like moving my toes, twitching my ankle or even just getting out of bed. But eventually my goals grew bigger and bigger, I found the strength to learn to walk again, first with two crutches, then with one and finally with my own strength. Suddenly, the world was my oyster. I had found the strength to power through. And what aided me? My love for travel. I began to hike again, I began to explore again, I began to travel again. Most importantly, I became me again. A few months after learning to walk, I re-booked my flights to Asia. A year later than expected but better late than never. And that is something I didn’t expect to find, with a little determination, strong will and passion you can do anything. I guess what doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger. And that’s my new motto, it’s what I live by!