What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger

by Ivana Ivandic (Croatia)

A leap into the unknown Spain

We gave each other the last hug. I could feel my heartbeat in my ears. My heart biting raised as the time of departure was approaching. The first time in my life, I was leaving my family and my hometown - everything I knew - for a longer time. Entering on the bus, I was trying to hold my tears, but the emotions overwhelmed me. I was happy and excited, but at the same time felt hard to leave my family for five months, which at that moment felt like ages. Traveling around the world is my dream, and I always felt some kind of restlessness in my heart that I can’t describe and some special courage that makes you pack your things this instant and go to explore the world. So, I took this special courage and applied for student exchange in Spain two years ago. It was a big step that I ever took in my life until then. I knew it would be hard in the beginning. I was for the first time leaving my comfort zone. I live near the city where I studied, so I didn’t have to live in a student dorm or a flat. I wasn’t afraid of the unknown. I was brave and strong as always, or I thought so. But in the beginning, the reality punched me in the face, and I realized that you can’t be ready enough. After five hours of travel by bus and three by the plain, I finally put my feet on the Spanish land. Despite the exhaustion, I was thrilled and excited. The smell of the sea hit my face as a welcome. The air was sweet and a bit warmer than in Croatia, which I was looking forward to it. February is mostly cold in my hometown, and temperatures drop below zero. Everything seemed so good so far. Driving in the cab through Elche, a small Mediterranean town in the south of Spain, I was more and more sure that I had made the right decision until I came to the flat, which I shared with four people. After the owner left, I realize that there is no heating system at all. That was the problem which all exchange student had to face it with. Already was night, and the temperature has dropped below ten degrees. It was even colder in my room, or it just felt like that. I only got a tiny small blanket, which wasn’t enough for covering the body. I felt helpless, lonely, and angry because I couldn’t do anything about it. I called my sister and cry. It was almost one in the night. I told her that I would return home with the first flight. She comforted me and said to me: “Everything will look better in the morning. You can do this”. She was right. I survived the worst night in my life - I froze and barely slept - but I decided to fight. Once more in life, I became convinced of the truth of the saying ‘What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. The next day I bought a warmer blanket and a heater. The first month and a half were challenging, but with all the advantages and disadvantages, this was the best five months in my life. I went on that travel to get to know a new culture, language, and people, but I have returned knowing myself.