When a woman decides to walk alone

by Cheng Mun Goh (Malaysia)

A leap into the unknown Malaysia

When a woman decides to walk alone… It is dangerous to travel alone!!!! Don’t you get lonely??? “Aren’t you afraid to be raped?” These places are dangerous but… Travelling is a lot similar to how we live our lives. Sometimes we make decisions and that decision is a lonely decision. But as women, not only is a lonely decision but it comes with remarks, statements from well-intended friends and family and sometimes even negative judgements from people around you. I walk alone a lot. Not to work and to park but literally in many cities and towns I had travelled to. I walked alone in Shanghai, Tokyo, Amsterdam, London, Labuan Bajo and many more. And I enjoyed the solitary and the freedom. Always hungry what I will discovered next, who will I meet and how will I live up to the next adventure. Each time, there are always a thousand questions in my head and funny feelings in my stomach but still I push through so that I could live the sense of liberation and to the unknown. In Myanmar and Sri Lanka, I was carrying a pepper spray with me which was never use. But before I went well intended friends challenge your fearlessness. Sometimes makes you self-doubt but your inner voice is stronger, and at the end of the trip you were proud that you actually made that trip and live to tell the story. We avoid all these places saying that it is not safe but it our own enemy that we are afraid of. It was the fear that feed upon us from government, society, false advertisement and corporations. So that we comply. For weeks I was tripping across the complicated route and dusty roads, passing highways, slums and farmlands, chaotic cities and empty fields in countries like Myanmar, China, India, Philippines and Indonesia. Everyday, strangers welcome us with smiles, cooked food, make us tea and sometimes place to sleep in. The pepper spray was unused, almost forgotten. Instead my backpack has to make way for good luck charms, gift from strangers and fruits/food to carry along the way. At the end of the day, we were happy and liberated because we choose to trust the goodness of humanity and of course the power of our own two feet. Back home in Kuala Lumpur, across the news you can see a child was kidnapped, a woman was raped and killed. The public out cried was strong. The fact is it can be dangerous anywhere and it is important to have common sense of certain safety measures are taken. We were borne with an instinct. Don’t stay in the white picket fencing and wait to be rescue. Always be ready to safe yourself. Especially when you are a woman. Your well-intended advised are dangerous too, assumptions are made that all women are weak and vulnerable. And its not just men who perpetuate these beliefs that disempower women, it was often initiates by women themselves, “its not safe to walk alone”, “don’t travel there alone, you might get raped” It goes on and on, stoking the wild fire of fear. Every time you tell a woman “It’s not safe for you,” and “Be careful, you’re a woman,” you’re undermining her. Telling her that she’s fragile. Stupid. Weak. Incapable. Rape-able. Over the years, I try make a lifestyle of pushing to the limit of my fears and see how far it takes me, I took a longer and complicated route despite there was an easier alternative, I climb a mountain despite the fear that I can’t make it. I jumped in the sea while looking at big whale sharks. I walked through a village directionless despite the fear of getting lost. It’s not that I don’t have fear, I still jump up from an occasional car honk from the street, scare over barking dogs when I walked on dark streets alone but I will not let fear control me. Finally, I’ve come to the conclusion that one must always practice carefulness, and not all countries and places are safe, but, for the most part, humans are awesomely kind and the world is overwhelmingly welcoming. Almost always, you are safe.