When the root becomes a leaf

by Joao Amaral (Brazil)

A leap into the unknown USA

I have always thought of myself as a root: settled down, and nourish myself from there. Why move if everything I needed was with me? I have worked my whole life in the same town. High school teacher, civil servant. A workload nor hard, nor easy; a routine not stressful nor tedious; duties not effortless nor complicated. Life, then, was composed of small tasks. Everything was fair. For roots, detachment is suffering. Therefore, I have never enjoyed traveling. The best thing about it was coming back home. My ideal vacation was staying home, spending my time with things and people I like. When I needed to travel, I got sick. This self-sabotage from my body has never failed. Some years ago, friends have repeatedly encouraged me to leave town. “Try a new experience! The day will end and your sunset will have the same frame. As always”. It turned out they were right. Nevertheless, I was too: the frame can be different, but the sunset is the same. Coworkers used to send courses to take abroad. Family members used to text me suggestions of places to go on vacation. Nothing has affected me. Underground, it’s harder to be hit by ideas. Why take a leap into the unknown if the unknown could destabilize me? I didn’t need to leave my place; everything was fine here. However, when people water too much, the roots absorb more than what is necessary. They have beat me out of tiredness. After being pissed off, I have signed up for a program to teach my native language for a year in the U.S. I did it only because it was temporary. I was expecting nothing; but nothing has become everything. I passed. Unfortunately, then, I was unable to ask for leave from work and found myself in the most difficult decision of my life: quitting a job for an unknown experience. Some roots need to come out of the soil. Mangroves are an example of this; but roots that go beyond geographical limits were new to me. In this trip, I ended up in Towson, Maryland. There is where my first displacement feeling gave me a consistent cultural baggage that a life of reading would not provide it to me. Moreover, my senses have sharpened; my communicative and linguistic skills have also improved. The trip has increased my empathy. I started to connect with wonderful people and to experience different cultural habits. Somehow, everything seemed the same, but, at the same time, everything was so different. I had to rent a house, to talk to people, to walk on the parks, to ask for information: regular activities were now being done with a shift of perspective. The unknown makes us more watchful. Paradoxically, the more attentive, the more we are able to be distracted. There are the two conditions for a full life, the rationalization of being attentive, and the poetry of being distracted (thanks, Fernando Pessoa). So, the unknown is responsible for broadening our life experiences. In my trip, the unknown has become more known each day. The wide streets, the different smells, the alternative routine, the variety of habits.... I even had to review my way of eating, at a Thanksgiving meal. Without a doubt, this leap into the unknown has been the most fundamental experience for my life. An unforgettable trip: the most important one. Traveling and acquiring knowledge, in the end, are the same. It’s all about gathering experiences. By the way, experiences are individual, unique and non-transferable. We don’t need to reserve space in our suitcases for them. Knowing the unknown – perhaps - is dealing with ourselves. It is dealing with others. These confrontations are not easy to manage. Facing the unknown is a personal, social and cultural revelation. On that trip, I realized that I was much more than root. I could look out of the land. I am the attentive a trunk; I am the distracted flower; I am the luscious fruit that makes new connections. Finally, above all, I am the leaf, which can detach itself, fly around the world and have the power to renew itself from season to season.