Where Connection is the Biggest Game in Town ‘Linda,’ he whispered into my ear as we crossed paths that hot afternoon. Just seconds after he’d held my gaze from across the street, while I debated whether to enjoy the flirtation or err on the side of caution. Turns out, caution was not only unnecessary but also tediously out of fashion - given the culture I had set foot in. “Flirting is Cuba’s national game,” my friend Christine declared as we turned a corner in Havana Vieja (old Havana). Something I had begun to sense, having lost and found my way on these streets several times over the last week. Getting a hang of a city’s unwritten rules the way only perpetual walking can ensure, flirting had made itself clear as the undercurrent to most human interaction. Not so much a skill to hone as an indulgence to give in to. Anytime, anywhere. As one Cubano explained – No puedo evitarlo (I can’t help it). Standing inside the sound, energy and raw beauty of this never-a-dull-moment city, not knowing a soul or having any agenda beyond my next meal, the possibility suggested itself: Make some local connections with my broken Spanish, and let those connections shape my plans. Leading to salsa clubs, antique stores, ancient paladars and even straight-up tourist scams, my Havana days were all variations on the theme of personal connection - the axis around which so much seemed to revolve. Cuba reminded me – with all her music, dance, colours, people, street art, and overall intensity at all times – the sheer pleasure of connection. Often in the garb of old-school flirting. A game that is its own reward, open to everyone at all times. Where the fundamental idea is to make the other person like you, so you don’t go annoy the hell out of them or creep them out (Who knew!) In the absence of 24/7 internet, social media and dating apps, actual interpersonal skills are what you bring to the game. Skills such as self-confidence and body language – strong in a culture where sexuality and sensuality are celebrated, not curtailed. And in the absence of advertising to distort body image, it isn’t conventional attractiveness but these interpersonal skills that make all the difference. Whether you’re professing undying love or appreciating a nice derriere, it takes some finesse, empathy, body language, creativity and imagination to make a playful moment of it. In a month, Cuba hammered home for me the stark difference between connections formed in person (or “IRL” as the cool kids say) and those we form online. Given the scarcity of consumer goods and electronic gadgets, Cubans have a strong sense of human connection and the aliveness of face-to-face interactions. People seemed involved in each others’ lives, buoyed by a sense of interdependence and solidarity. Conversations were shouted across streets even late at night – between many people. Animatedly enough for you to pick a side within minutes and feel emotionally invested. Emoticons, memes and all our social media shenanigans cannot ever match face-to-face interactions marked by a pronounced body language that doesn’t hold back. Which can seem overwhelming at first, but one gets used to it. The only places with people glued to screens were the wifi parks or fancy hotels that doubled up as wifi zones. Outside these, people didn’t need reminders to look up and engage with all the madness of life unfolding in front of them. Cuba taught me to see flirting not as an experience shared with a select few in controlled environments, but something done on the spur of the moment with someone you happen to cross paths with. Not a strategy or transaction for a specific outcome, but a spontaneous interaction that is its own reward - regardless of what follows. Not just sliding into DMs, but sliding into someone’s imagination. Not a manipulation tactic to hoodwink someone, but a way of adding a little mischief, mystery and imagination to everyday life. Which happen to be some of the first casualties in our fast-paced consumerist lives. Flirting asks you to slow down and savour the moment – stop chasing a target and enjoy the human-to-human connection. Linda, indeed.