Which One Are You?

by Desiree Bibayan (United States of America)

A leap into the unknown Panama

There are three types of people. This was not the kind of knowledge I was seeking when I decided to quit my job and do a work exchange at an eco lodge on an island off of Panama. It was all a bit cliche, my family desperately pleading with me that this was insanity. That I was somehow too old and too young to quit my job and go backpacking with no definitive return date or plan. But not having a plan was part of the plan. It’s a story we are all too familiar with, you have goals and ambitions, work hard, and somehow along the way you don’t recognize yourself. I wanted to recognize myself. I quickly felt at home in Panama. I loved the people I worked with, the humid heat, the local community, and the fresh passionfruit. It wasn’t long before the owners of the lodge left for a week leaving all social activities up to me and one of my new work exchange friends . We organized an evening out on the town to the main island with a group of excited guests ready and eager to experience local nightlife and transportation. We started walking through the jungle to reach our boat. The sky was noticeably clear. I had been in Bastimentos for two weeks and this was the first time I could see the stars. It felt perfect, we were pulling it all off. We turned the corner of the dock and there it was, the boat, waiting for us, just like it should. As we walked towards the boat I heard a crunch-like sound and before I had time to ask, “what was that?” I was fully submerged under water. I immediately came up for air and yelled, “Grab onto the boat!” The dock had crumbled underneath our feet. “Is everyone okay?” someone yelled from the dark. “I’m okay,” a few voices muttered. Everyone was in the water but two souls who managed to not fall into the caimen infested waters. “My phone! It’s in my pocket!” I yelled as I threw my iPhone out of my wet jeans and into the boat. “It’s okay, we’ll put it in rice when we get back tonight,” said my calm dry colleague. One by one we climbed and/or got pulled into the boat. “Is everyone ok?” I asked. Shocked, embarrassed, and wondering if mascara was running down my face. “This is what I get for putting on makeup in the jungle,” I thought to myself. “I’m down to still go out. We have the boat!” a very wet traveler said. Everyone seemed to nod in agreement. “Really?” I asked, “Is everyone okay with still going to town?” “We’re going to walk back to the lodge.” Three friends said. “Are you sure? I can walk with you there, you can change and come back.” I said “No, that’s okay.” They responded. I took off my soaking wet sneakers, squeezed out water from my hair, and off we went towards the lights of the main island. I recognized myself that night as one of three people. First, there’s the traveler who is already in the boat when the dock breaks. It sounds ideal, they’re lucky. But they also don’t get the experience of knowing your own true grit, of pushing through hardships and knowing your self worth. Second, there’s the traveler who falls in and goes home. They live life carefully. They strive for security and when things crumble, it’s bad news. Relaxing is hard for this one. Lastly, there’s the traveler who falls through a dock and still goes out. This person is not lucky, they break things, but they don’t let fear stop them. They make leaps into the unknown, and that’s far better than being lucky or indefinitely stressed out. So which traveler are you and which one do you want to be?