who am I

by manar othman (India)

I didn't expect to find India

“Long story short…” She is an engineering graduate. She was a typical good girl who did what her society expected her to do. But never loved engineering or wanted to be one. She went through depression, insomnia and anxiety in her years of college. The idea of coming back from the office, to babies and a husband to feed, really freaked her out! She always knew that she is much more than that. But she never knew what she is! She found a book by the name of “the secret” and damn! That book really changed her life! She started believing that all of her crazy dreams that kept her awake can actually come true! She decided to take herself in a “finding myself” journey. She took all the “find your strength” tests, read a lot of books about passion, subconscious, dreams…and this and that! Until she heard of something called “business coach”. The coach told her that the first step to finding herself, according her answers to the brainstorming questions, is to travel! She took whatever money she saved and searched for a job in the cheapest-ticket country. She lied all the lies and cried all the cries to convince her family that going from engineering to teaching English in India, is a good idea! But she did it, because she wanted to get out, to break free, to just get lost between some new alleys and new faces. And once the plane took off; she just took a breath! She literally bet her life; she just spent all of her money on a one-way ticket. She didn’t even have 1$ left! What if she sucked at teaching! What if anything happened! But the thing is; she didn’t even think of all of those things, she just left. On the 15th of August, the school was preparing a function that suits such an important day, as The Independence Day if India. Each teacher craved to show off their talents; whether it’s singing, choreographing, speech...etc. So the principal of course wanted to see something different from the foreigner. The “whip and nay nay” was a big trend in the whole world, so she decided to bring that to India. She trained the students for the dance, and omg how she enjoyed that! On the function, she wore a beautiful white saree and everyone’s mind was blown. Their hearts started opening up for inviting her to their houses, teaching her Hindi, inviting her to any religious function and she had such an open heart to absorb everything! She didn’t have a group of “friends” around her to disagree on trying a dish, or going to a place. She didn’t have somebody to tell her that it isn’t cool to take a picture of this! She was a foreigner in a country and damn it, she acted like one. She ate the Indian spicy food! The chai, the dosa, the paani puri and all of the delicious, strange-named street food. She stayed with Indian people in their houses, slept on their beds, went to the temples with them, learned about their culture and just became a part of them. She spent months inside a boarding school campus, in a really small village, of a really small town, in a semi-continent! But she’s learned about herself more than she’s ever done! Her talents started taking baby steps at her. So she had an open heart to listen to people’s stories, understand them, feel their pain and maybe give them a solution. A lot of stories, a lot of situations, struggles, loss, self-growth ans self-exploration. You didn’t really expect another “I want to explore cultures” story, did you! “this is just, we can say, plot! Can’t really tell this story in 700 words, specially that it’s not over yet!”