Who Am I That I Should Matter?

by Adriana Tipton (United States of America)

I didn't expect to find Italy

There’s something about traveling that makes you feel small. You board a large aircraft with 100 other people and fly through the massive expanse of sky to your destination. You see the mountains below that look like lines on a map, entire fields of land that look like puzzle pieces, where cars are like ants and humans become microscopic. Who am I that I should matter? Traveling seems to force you to see the world with a different view, a different perspective. There is 7 billion people on this Earth, who am I in this sea of faces and souls? Who am I in this portrait of the entire globe? Why should my life matter? These existential questions seem to invade my thoughts every time I leave the country. Or board a plane for that matter. I hope I’m not the only one. As my mind plunged into this existential crisis, this self analysis, I was soon comforted by none other than the word of God. I definitely wasn’t expecting that. He has a way of reaching me even when I don’t always answer His calls or respond when he speaks. I love Him for that. And this time he sent these words my way without me even having to ask for them. He knows my heart, knows I get too critical when I ponder my existence. “When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers, the moon and the stars, which you have set in place, what is man that you are mindful of him?” Psalm 8:3-4 It became clear, I'm not alone in my pondering. Through the expanse of time a psalmist penned a similar thought long before I even existed. Then it occurred to me…we are made up of the same stuff as stars. We are just as bright, just as beautiful. Just as wonderful, glorious and breath taking. We are anatomically composed of the same glittering particles found in the expanse of the galaxies. We are so specially made that He knows the number of hairs on our heads and freckles on our skin. There’s absolutely nothing we can do to make Him love us less, or make Him love us more. We are already so deeply and beautifully loved by Him by default. He made us so we can be great. And great we are! It took me standing by the Duomo to really absorb this in. My group sauntered on the cobblestone sidewalk through the Florentine city amongst the crowds of tourists and other students. I looked up at the masonry, my chin tilted up higher and higher. I stood shyly against its grandeur feeling like an ant next to its great expanse. But to think…human hands built this. Brunelleschi’s mind imagined it, his hands designed it, stone masons crafted stones to construct it…we did this. Humans. Us. We are that amazing. And we have the potential to be so much more. There are great, inventive minds all over the world and all throughout time. There are those who build and make, there are those who teach and lead, grow and harvest, fix and raise… Each soul has a purpose and each purpose is necessary in the continuation of humanity. How intricate and complex we are… Aren’t we just wonderful? My mind raced forward but soon reverted to the classroom earlier that day. Quiet and still, the smell of old books lingered in the dusty air beneath the majestic painting of a fresco on the ceiling. The warm summer sun shone in through the window, the sound of my professor’s voice permeated the memory, “The drum of the duomo began construction in 1293, but the dome of the duomo didn’t begin construction until 1420 when Brunelleschi won the design competition. Can you imagine?” she inquired, “The Florentine people constructed an octagonal structure not knowing when or if someone would come along knowing how to construct a covering for it. More than one hundred years passed, holding mass there rain or shine!” Her words settled into my heart as I lingered at the tail end of our group, chin raised up as I took in the details of the edifice. Now THAT’S faith.