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We were enjoying the Rome stop of our month long trip across Europe. I signed up for this guided trip as my only post-graduation plan as the perfect way to feed an avoidance strategy I wasn’t aware I was developing, with a plus being I didn’t have to do any of the exhaustive research that was out of my typical bare minimum comfort zone. I powered through school with minimal effort as quickly as I could, blindly flying past opportunities. I was too busy being uncomfortable with my decisions that I became unfamiliar with my wants. Through a fortunate concoction of luck, privilege, and loving parents, I found myself on this adventure. Two weeks into my trip I was in Rome with a new friend who had borrowed beard trimmers from a fellow traveler, and I convinced him that I was capable of giving him a “fresh cut” with a “killer fade” based on my exaggerated hair cutting experience. My travels took me to new places, but I was most surprised by a sense of confidence and strength that was foreign to me. I saw the Louvre, Arc de Triomphe, Munich, Cliffs of Dover, Buckingham Palace, Modern Art Museum, Amsterdam, and the Colosseum - the world’s most notable marvels. I ate gelato, I went white water rafting in the Alps, I drank wine under the Eiffel tower, I devoured a Tuscan feast, and I went cliff jumping in Greece. Every day was a new city. All the new experiences shook loose something I didn't know was stuck. Before my trip, my life had no autonomy; I was like a sheep following whatever path was laid out in front of me blindly hoping someone would come to my rescue when I needed it, assuming my guide knew the way better than I did, hoping that my destination was bearable. The gravity of this awakening I can feel now. Each experience along this three-week trip deepened my understanding of myself. The influence of different cultures illuminated a humanizing insight I was now eager to grasp. I had realized how insignificant my diluted focus on fitting into society and subduing my behavior truly was in the scheme of the human experience. What was I to gain from this trip if I wasn’t living it honestly and fully? My unadulterated life experience began. Living presently as my own leader allowed me to take the risks I craved. As my numbness to the world began to fade, I began to feel things like anger, loneliness, regret, and guilt. I was waking up in the driver seat of a car that had run off the track, and I realized I was tired of blaming the other cars for not towing me. When I chose to open my eyes though, I was surrounded by a world of true possibility and an amazing crew of fellow travelers who had quickly become more like family. Often we find ourselves in the passenger seats of our own life, and to this I can offer some advice. Some days I find myself blaming the people around me for a difficult day. Some days I forget the reasons I go to work. Some days I’m challenged to be myself. I look back at the memories I stowed away from my time galavanting across Europe, and I’m reminded of the uninhibited life I wish to live. I want to live as deeply as I live abroad; I want to be touched by the places I touch. The time I was given on this earth will be noticed. Whenever I find myself in the passenger seat, I’ll remind myself of that day in Rome when I asserted myself into the driver’s seat, grabbed onto the beard trimmers, and gave my new friend a highly adorned fresh cut. Destination bound or detour, I have power in the ownership of my life regardless. Like my friend, I would soon feel the wind through my hair.